Estar: A Reflection of Being in This Moment

Estar (24"x30")

The canvas often feels like a silent confidant, holding space for whatever tumult or tranquility I carry within. When I began working on what would become "Estar," I wasn't seeking to depict a specific scene or object, but rather to translate a feeling, a condition of being.

I remember laying down the soft, almost hesitant strokes of grey-blue first. It felt like the quiet hum of existence, the backdrop against which all our vibrant moments play out – sometimes serene, sometimes a little muted. Upon this subtle ground, I felt an urge to inject a raw, untamed energy. The coarse texture of the corrugated cardboard, with its humble lines and earthy tone, brought a sense of grounded reality, a found fragment from the everyday world that insists on its presence. It speaks of the unpolished, the real, and how even discarded elements hold a story.

Then came the bursts of color. That deep, verdant green, almost a whisper of forgotten forests or secret depths, felt like an anchor. And the defiant, brilliant yellow that explodes across it – that was pure impulse, a sudden flash of warmth and light, like the sun breaking through on an overcast day. It was a moment of vibrant clarity, a spontaneous joy that demanded to be seen.

The sweeping, thick white stroke, meandering and powerful, was a release. It wasn't a planned shape, but a breath, a current, a feeling of movement and transformation. When I moved the brush across the canvas, I was thinking of journeys, of paths forged and unformed, of the continuous flow of life that carries us through clarity and chaos. It cuts through, connects, and sometimes even obscures, mirroring how certain experiences can dominate our perception, temporarily redefining our landscape.

Those thin black lines, sometimes scribbled, sometimes forming a curious, almost road-like trajectory, are the inner dialogues. They are the thoughts that rush, the questions that linger, the small, sometimes frantic, attempts to make sense of things. The geometric outlines, like fragments of a blueprint or a forgotten map, are symbols of structure, or perhaps the longing for it, amidst the fluid nature of our experiences. And the small splatters of teal and gold – these are the tiny discoveries, the unexpected glimmers of insight or beauty that pepper our days, reminding us of the richness in the details.

"Estar" is a reflection of this very dynamic. It is not about a fixed identity or an immutable state of being, but about the fluid, ever-changing nature of our presence. For me, "Estar" encapsulates the experience of *being* in this moment—with all its scattered thoughts, its raw textures, its sudden illuminations, and its underlying calm. It is the joy and struggle of simply existing, right here, right now, imperfect and beautiful in its transience. Each mark I made, each color I chose, was an attempt to capture that profound, momentary "being" – the feeling of simply *being* present, in all its complexity and wonder.