Ex Animo: My Heart Laid Bare

Ex animo (48"x48")

The canvas before me is a world I built, stroke by stroke, from the deepest chambers of my being. I call it 'Ex animo,' a phrase that resonates with the very core of my artistic journey – 'from the heart,' 'from the soul.' It is not just a title; it is a confession, a promise, and the unvarnished truth of how every piece of me pours onto the surface.

When I started with the dominant reds on the left, I wasn't just mixing pigment; I was stirring a cauldron of raw emotion. The textured, almost scarred surface in that deep crimson is where I laid down the weight of passion, the fire of conviction, and perhaps a touch of the beautiful chaos that defines existence. Each scrape and layer was a memory, a feeling brought to the forefront, demanding to be seen.

The prominent black oval shape that settled within that vibrant red – I remember placing it, a moment of profound stillness amidst the fervor. It felt like a void, yet a solid anchor, a point of introspection, pulling the eye in. And those lighter, almost ethereal shapes that peek through the red, like glimpses of something hidden or newly revealed; they are the fragile moments of clarity that emerge after a storm.

Then came the stark white vertical column, a breath of fresh air, a moment of silence. It acts as a spinal cord, holding the piece together, yet it's far from empty. Within its clean expanse, I introduced those delicate, torn paper fragments, carrying whispers of forgotten narratives, fragmented thoughts, like pages from an old diary, their edges frayed by time. They speak of the stories we carry, often incomplete, often rearranged, but always part of us. Below them, those earthy, horizontal strips of corrugated material, they ground the ethereal, adding a touch of the tangible, the structure within the dream.

The vivid white, L-shaped line on the far right, arching and then descending, was a deliberate punctuation mark. It signifies a turning point, a decision, a path taken. And the white dots that follow its descent are like drops of intention, marking the journey, one step at a time. The lighter blue-grey at the bottom, layered beneath the reds, carries the quiet hum of introspection, a cool contrast to the warmth above. It's where the conscious thought meets the subconscious flow.

The scribbled lines and fragmented texts, subtle yet insistent, scattered across the lower parts of the canvas, are my silent conversations with myself. They are the unsaid words, the fleeting ideas, the background noise of a mind constantly working, constantly questioning. They are the scaffolding of thought that supports the more definitive shapes and colors. And that bold black rectangle with its horizontal ridges on the bottom left, it feels like a secret compartment, a protected space for essential truths, perhaps even a nod to the silent rhythm that underpins everything.

Every stroke, every decision, every color choice in 'Ex animo' came not from a calculated plan, but from a gut feeling, an honest impulse. It’s a testament to the belief that the truest art originates not just from the mind's cleverness, but from the raw, unfiltered outpouring of one's spirit. This piece is my heart laid bare, my soul's landscape made visible, and in its creation, I found both the struggle and the unparalleled joy of simply being.